We’re back, bitches! 

This guy: 

Looks the comedian Brian Posehn: 

This guy: 

Looks like the ugly, fat twin brother of: 

This guy: 

Has Zach Galifianakis’s upset face down pat: 

This guy:

Looks like one of my favourite Jews, Adrian Brody: 

This lovely lady:

Strikes a resemblance to the late, great Elizabeth Taylor: 

Finally, this gentleman: 

Is a dead ringer for this wrestler, Mankind: 

Chatroulette has shitty coloured backgrounds now. Hooray!

Chatroulette oddities!

I have a ton to post…

Let’s begin:

Chastity lock. No, thank you. Pass.

Patch Adams? No thank you. Pass.

Giant tits? YES, PLEASE…

I met these nice fellows, and they were kind enough to showcase what they enjoy most: dressing as a priest and shaming men masturbating.

I have to say, they were fantastic. Thanks, fellows!

I tried to make it look like we were some sort of crazy science fiction being, but I think it turned out to be more of a clear boob shot.

This is my new friend. She’s awesome. And a part-time pirate. Look at the ridiculous pre-set, though. It comes with accessories AND a ship, ocean AND a freaking island with what I assume is a volcano! WOW!

This is my old friend, Barbie. She does everything, even cam whore it up!

JabbaWockeez represent.  

Finally! I was waiting for someone to do this on Chatroulette….

Furry fetish. He showed me his dick and kept the head on. Weird.

Eep!

Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.

……………Wait…….what?

Please excuse me while I vomit. Those shoes are ghastly…where on earth did you get those? 1993?

That’s how I feel when I see people having sex. Like Spongebob.

You know, I don’t know why I decided to take a screen shot of him. I think it might be the baseball cap or the fact he is the king of leopard print. It was just odd…

But seriously, I wouldn’t want a snake around my neck unless I was singing “Slave 4 U”

Oh boy! Trannies!!

French man in a diaper. Doesn’t get better than that. He told me he just peed in his diaper. I hope he has Desitin on hand for that rash….

This guy and I would make a perfect couple because I like to eat bananas and he likes to fuck them.

Don’t be so judgemental. You know the man who invented the vacuum did the same thing.

Oh no! You too, Kermy??

Psssh, your guess is as good as mine…

There must be something about my face that says, “Suck your own dick,” because this is the third time I have seen this. HOWEVER, this one was the most impressive by far.

Bravo, sir!

One thing is for certain, this guy is not getting laid…

This man was telling me how he had visited Los Angeles, and this is what happened:

You’re supposed to pull out the gun you bought on the black market in Watts and fire at him. With the gun slanted on its side so he knows you mean business…

Enough said.

I sneezed as this guy said:

Nothing says, ‘I’m ready to fuck,’ like snot.

I may use my real name when I am on chatroulette, but I fail to understand why people would advertise what college they go to while they’re looking for pussy. BTW, pervert: Go Montclair State Red Hawks!

I’m most fun when you combine all three.

Dignity must grow back, I’ve lost so much of it in my years and I still have some to spare…

I was doing him a bigger favour than getting him off….

Well, at least he had a sense of humour before he nexted me….

This one was submitted by my good friend Ez:

VAGatables? Is that what those hippie Lesbians eat in Berkeley?? They might be dairy-free so they could be vegan, but they DEFINITELY aren’t kosher…

Don’t say there aren’t any women on this site. I’ve seen them! They exist! Sometimes it’s kind of like a Bigfoot sighting where you think it’s real and it ends up fake, but nevertheless, there are women on this site:

I’ve gotten her more than once.

Lindsay?

She was lovely, I had a wonderful chat with her. Most of the girls on here next me instantly.

I always found this woman stunning. Too bad we didn’t talk. She was so pretty.

I think her boyfriend or whoever that guy is put her on cam because she was not happy.

I had a nice chat with her, she was another lovely lady form Eastern Europe.

Eeep!

This woman was so obviously a video/bot, I had to take a screen shot. It’s so fake haha.

Remember this sexy gator from the last post?

Well, he decided to make his own site apparently….

Those are sex eyes if I’ve ever seen them! He apparently collected enough boobs from chatroulette to start his own site: sexgator.com. Check it out! No dicks, just chicks!

…and I’m sorry. I have a ton of things to post, so watch out for that. 

I’ll make this post small so tumblr doesn’t decide to erase the giant post I made a few weeks ago. I can’t handle frustration of that caliber again anytime soon. 

Signs! 

Thanks for keeping the internet clean, Jesus.

Submitted by Paul.

No.

No.

Wtf is that? No.

Yes.

Oh, thanks, giant hand. Your rude, pointing finger startled me…

They WANT to get to 100 dicks. And what’s up with that picture of cows on a pasture? I don’t get it. 

Don’t tell me it’s summer in April. I know my seasons, dumbass. 

No Gay! Even though that gator looks like the flamboyant gator in The Princess and the Frog.

Haha, thanks, Alex. 

I especially enjoy my creepy face in the boob-ometer. I look like a little pervert in a peep hole with that smile. Creep! 

So I went on manroulette.com while screen-sharing with my gay friend Alex just because I needed a 3AM laugh….

I think they could tell I wasn’t a man, much less a gay one…

My plans to look like a chunty Mexican man were foiled by my lack of adhesive….this man’s face says it all!

I think I’ll stick to regular chatroulette…

I love the Jews.

I was really into deep sea creatures that week…

Oh, watch out! What a retort…from a man with a flaccid penis on the internet.

It’s true. I am.

Ladies, do you remember Lisa Frank in elementary school?

Fellas - I’m sorry. Google it if you’re curious…

Scary ass hillbilly man…

Future husband.

He needs to go on that show Hoarders or How Clean is Your House? or Extreme Makeover: Attic Edition

He and the guy above need to get together and share some of that mess…

A lady thought I was pretty. Yay!

Wow, if cyber sex is the best emotion YOU could feel - I wonder what kind of computer nerd you are…

Oh speaking of nerds - I made a D&D reference. But I have no idea if that’s good or not because I’ve never played. Someone get back to me on that…

Nice save.

I’m glad he clarified. What a true and rare gentleman.

Some more love connections!

Ladies’ underwear and balls. Just what I wanted to see…

What’s up with all the mimes on Chatroulette?

Now for toilets…thanks to Ezmae!

Yeah that makes me want to take my shirt off. Sexy porcelain. 

Wow…….wow……..yuck.

I’m thinking a middle-aged Asian woman who watches too many home improvement shows.

Those clashing patterns of the couches and his shirt are driving me insane! I will help you, sir. Pro bono, even.

I gave my flashiest, whitest smile.

For the illiterate. Or foreign.

Ummm…..I don’t know….

Nothing gets me hotter than Tweety Bird. It’s a guy, did you guys know that?

I like the sad johnson with hair. They scotch taped that shit to themselves….dedication, yo.

I’m a dick.

I <3 third grade colouring jobs.

The terrorists won.

Hahaha…not only did I get an advertisement, but it’s a really bad one. Very unoriginal.

They wanted to provoke a different, less lethal eruption….in their pants.

What a creeper…

Haha - watch out! We’ve got a herpetologist here with a rare specimen…

They nexted me before I could finish drawing two owls.

What’s up with these children’s characters demanding tits?

Woo!

Whack a kitty??? Oh no….. :(

No.

Gross. I think it looses its charm translated, but he basically wants to cum for a lovely, hungry lady. Yum!

I have to say - I was tempted.

I don’t know why, but I got two people I guess subconsciously trying to put it in my head that drinking certain products will help me reap the benefits from the groin area. 

What’s up with this product’s placement?

I just have to wonder where a grown man gets a Lady and the Tramp pillow these days….that movie came out in 1955.

Really? You’re going to try to get girls to take you seriously with those motherfuckers on? Hahahaha - Oh, Looney Toons.

…or two….

SO MUCH HAIR……ugh….

I hope I looked like a scared 15 year old girl….

Mid-sneeze…

I’m clearly upset. He’s clearly married.

It took me a while to figure out what it was, then I was delighted, shocked, and excited to find this for my blog.

Ugh - so hairy…

I was doing a Chola face - I think it came out a bit old man-ish…

I don’t know, I was pretty cracked out by that time on that night…

My head is saying “GIIIIIINNGGERRRRRR!”

I thought it was a nice juxtaposition too, thanks.

Your penis does nothing to arouse me. 

I was trying my hardest to look like his butthole since he obviously likes it so much…

Ezmae got the King of the Ape Men - and the nastiest/hairiest man ever. I’d make the same face if I got that guy. I think my serotonin levels just decreased just by looking at that….

Thanks, Ezmae!